The Life Corner

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One Fine Day

2011-02-12T22:35:00.002+07:00

One fine day

was the day
I met you

My Auntie versus My Mom

2011-01-27T20:08:00.003+07:00

One of my good friends asked me why I never talked about my mom. She said I always wrote about my auntie.

Well, my friend, one day I will write about my mom. A lot.

She has passed away more than 10 years ago after a brave and courageous battle against cancer. My mom is one of those heroes who inspire me. So I will have plenty of time to talk about her.

Now as my auntie is still here, I would like to write about her as much as I can; while my memories of her are still fresh.

The moral: Do something good to your loved ones, while they are still alive. When they are not here anymore, whatever you do for them, won't change a thing!

Keeping Up Your Hobbies

2011-01-27T19:55:00.002+07:00

Like I said, my auntie is still very active. She has passions of anything that relates to beauty: sewing, embroidering, doing the handy crafts ...and of course, the love for plants and flowers.

Although she is quite old, she never let her passions grow dim.

I think that is one secret, one can stay healthy and cannot grow old in the inside: keeping up the passions!

Alone but Never Lonely

2011-01-27T19:26:00.002+07:00

My auntie lives practically alone in her house; she is accompanied by her maid who has been with her since longer than my age. The maid now has her own family: daughter, son, son in law and a grandchild is on the way...

My uncle has passed away, years and years ago. Their son and daughter live in other areas of Indonesia, being prominent and successful persons.

Many times the children ask my auntie to stay with either of them, but my auntie prefers her independence. She is still active and still has a vivid mind. She still sew (and earn the money from it) and she can still put those "blink-blink things" in the customers' party gown...etc...etc...

And most importantly, she still make friends and has a lot good friends and best friends who love her.

On her birthday, one of her best friend brought her a birthday cake specially customized for her since my auntie is diabetics. This friend, who is a very long time friend, ask the maid and the seamstress who is my auntie's assistant to sing "Happy Birthday" and gather around the cake. and they prayed for my auntie.

I was crying (inside my heart) when I heard my auntie telling the story to me. One good lesson for me: you may be alone, but you can do something to chase away the loneliness. My auntie does it by not letting herself growing old insidely, not letting herself giving up her activities (though she could live by her children's pension) and by still actively making friends!

The Home Coming (Again)

2011-01-27T18:58:00.003+07:00

October 18, 2011. I was there again, touching my feet again on the land of Yogyakarta. Leaving the airport, then I went on to Magelang. It was a lucky trip because few weeks after, Mount Merapi erupted, giving chaos to the towns around it-- Yogyakarta and Magelang were among them.

The trip, as usual, was a "home coming". The major reason was I wanted to visit my auntie who was celebrating her 79th birthday. But deep inside, it was a journey of my heart. A peep to my childhood time.

This time, I wanted to give my auntie a gift. She wouldn't expect me to bring anything-- anything at all. She isn't a person who loves worldly things, if I may say. But I know it too well what could please her than anything: the presence of her loved ones.

So, this time, I decided that I should bring her younger brother, who is the youngest siblings. My grandparents has 8 children (my mom is right after her, and the youngest brother is right after my mom)-- 5 of them has passed away (including my mom).

My uncle's coming should be a surprise. So, I didn't tell my auntie that her brother would come along.

October 18, 2011; almost at 22.30...I went in my auntie's house. She was happy to see me. But she couldn't belief her eyes when after sometimes my uncle showed his nose...:-)

I am glad, I made the decision to bring my uncle along, for he himself is over 70 years old now. They probably won't have much time anymore to see each other; though I wish them a long life!!!

MY FIRST ATTEMPT in 2011

2011-01-08T20:50:00.002+07:00

Though since last December I've been unofficially signed a contract with some publishers to do some projects by "saying yes" to them, a few minutes earlier I've just sent a ready-to-print manuscript to a certain publisher I've never worked with before.

My career seems secure enough this year judging from the deals I've promised to them I've known before.

But there is something reckless within me that compels me to try "fly higher". Something that pushes me to go beyond my tendency to worship a "status quo".

To be truthful, I prefer to work on a safe deal rather than facing an unsure opportunity by sending a ready-to-print manuscript to a publication house which I don't know.

Afraid of being rejected?
Afraid of being given "a silent answer" instead of "yes" or "no"?
Afraid of being in a limbo?

Yes, to be honest!

Yet, I've decided that an attempt is worth trying, even though we have to suffer from an unpredictable seconds, minutes, hours, months...of waiting the answer to come to us!

Just wish myself a luck!

A MISSCOMUNICATION

2011-01-03T23:18:00.003+07:00

I brought you one best gift
which I bought with my last pennies

But you rolled your eyes,
turn your face away from me:
"What? Are you bringing me gift?
Am I that pitiful,
that I need your gift?"

One got broken
because her gift was rejected;
another got insulted
because his pride was hurt

PARTING

2010-12-30T20:30:00.003+07:00

I have said my final words
and sent you my last gifts.

I have uttered my goodbye

But for one final leap
just let me have a taste
of you
inside out

just squeeze me tightly
and let me hear those heartbeats of yours
and the scent that comes out from you

Thank you
for one bit of time
you were there...

Self-potraits

2010-08-08T11:57:00.003+07:00

Along the years...ready to meet new challenges!!!

THE SCHOOL OF LIFE

2010-04-14T20:41:00.001+07:00

Surely the School of Life is not easy. It is not as colorful as what this picture depicts. But all Schools of life worth trying and worth experiencing.

(Picture taken from the internet)

THE HUNT FOR THE CLOVER LEAVES

2010-04-14T20:27:00.003+07:00

It seems that my hunts of the clover leaves are still on an ongoing process!

I need to be persistence. I need to be tough. I need to have courage to go onward on this journey of quest.

I must not surrender. The "Laotong" must be there. Somewhere. I just need to try it harder until I find them.

FINISHING THE COURSE

2010-04-14T20:18:00.002+07:00

We must finish what we have started. That's a fine statement. But surely, it is easier said, than done. But, as soon as you start disbelieving the motto, you really will find yourself failed in fulfilling whatever course you are in now.

For whatever it takes we must finish what we are doing now. Fight it until the last drops of your blood, if it need be so!!

So, help us, God!

THE FESTIVE SEASONS AGAIN!

2010-01-15T17:49:00.004+07:00

Chrismast time and New Year celebrations have been away. But, wait! Don't let your spirit go low yet! Here are other festive seasons awaiting. Valentine Day and the Lunar New Year celebrations are ready to spark the events.

Valentine Day to cherish love with your loved one, and the Lunar New Year to celebrate the prosperity, luck and helath with your family and of course-- they all are your loved ones too!

Sweet Heart and the golden Kois symbolizes that the best is yet to come!
(So I will work on these for my pudding collections).

Christmas is coming!!

2009-12-08T12:47:00.004+07:00

Christmas is coming!

I am preparing myself to work hard because festive seasons always bring my customers to order puddings for their relatives, friends and colleagues.

It will be fun although tiring ... :-)

So, I am welcoming you, the blessed Christmas time!

THE HOMECOMING

2009-10-27T14:42:00.002+07:00

Mid of 2004. All in sudden I felt a rush of being homesick.

Homesick? How could I, while I was in the middle of my home and being surrounded by my loving family?

It was a different homesick feeling. I wanted to feel once again the sweet feeling of having those people who loved you as a little girl. Surely, my auntie was one who loves me.

I used to spend my school holidays at my auntie's house in Magelang, a small quite city in the area of Mount Merapi, Central Java. I remember how I and my cousin got along well, both of us being girls of more or less of the same age. Now she is a big girl, of course, as I am now. Or probably we are rather old now.

So I decided that I visited my auntie. I flew to Jogja, then asked Indah (my friend at the university who resides in Jogja) to take me to Magelang.

It was an unplanned journey and it was a rather suprising for my auntie and the whole world of my relatives (who resides in different cities and areas) to know that I went to Magelang. Alone.

It was really worth my effort. It refreshed my spirit and soul. It was a homecoming.

A few weeks ago, I made another homecoming to visit my auntie again. She was about to celebrate her 78th birthday. So I wanted to see her. I wanted to she the spirit that has been sustaining her long life: her faith in God's goodness and kindness.

As predicted, it was one I would never regret. A few days before, my auntie text me. She asked me, "What do you want Nie to cook for you?" I cried; the whole memories of my childhood vacations overflood me.

So, there I was. I met my auntie. I went to church with her and enjoyed the Sunday Service I used to attend when I was a kid. And I met Nie, the maidservant who witnessed how I fell into a little fish pond in the backyard of my auntie's house andshe also witnessed how my mom gave me a good spank at my bottom since she had warned me not to climb the hard cement edge of that fish pond! Hahahha!

To The Lost One

2009-02-18T22:30:00.003+07:00

(this picture is a painting by Vincent van Gogh, named "Starry Night" and is taken from wikipedia)

Looking at the stars,
I wonder:
which one are you?

If you are
one of those stars,
how could it be so,
while you are still alive?

And if you are
still alive,
why can't I embrace
your soul?

Count my possibility:
will you ever be mine
for just once again?

Another Four Leaf Clover

2009-02-18T13:16:00.004+07:00

The clover leaves I posted before was taken from my own yard. They grew in a big pot together with some giant weed grass which were purposely planted by my husband.

The clover leaf in this post was taken from Flickr which was posted by someone called "SuperFantastic" (visit: www.flickr.com/photos/superfantastic).

Have I become obsessed with clover leaves?

The Clover Leaves

2009-02-18T12:24:00.003+07:00

Have a look at these clovers! Each of them has 3 leaves. But if you are lucky enough, you'll find a clover with 4 leaves! A four-leaf clover is hard to find!

That's why there is saying:
"A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find and lucky to have."
~ Unknown

How true! It saddens me to think that a best friend is not that easy to find. I used to think that best friends are there as long as long you open up yourself. But that's not the fact. You think some one is your best friend only to find out that finally she (or he) is your very un-best friend, even your enemy!

How so? How so- this is also a question I am pondering in these recents years.

I am not the only one, though. I have a close friend (and I thank God, she is one among the rares!) who has been pondering this best-friend issues.

One time, she had been in the state of opening up herself to me; but all in sudden she was like putting a wall between us. I was kind of wondering when finally she told me the reason(s). She was afraid that after she opened herself up to me, I would somehow betray our friendship. She had had the experience before, and it was traumatics!

I told her, I didn't blame her. On the contrary, I quite understood her. I had had a similar experience before. Some friendships I had were broken and they broke my heart too. Furthermore, they tore my whole world apart. They traumatized me!

But thank God! As she told me the truth, I trusted her more. I didn't impose our relationship to be closer, but naturally it is a close one. We care for each other without being obsessed or possesive. We honor our friendship just it is. We don't put weighted obligation on it. We just enjoy it. And we benefit from it.

And I see it as something sweet.

New Year Resolutions (?)

2009-02-18T09:46:00.002+07:00

Of course, it is too late to make new year resolutions! We've been entering the second month of 2009. And it is too early to make 2010 new resolutions!

Infact, I didn't make one last year and I don't think I will make ones whenever we are approaching the end of 2009 (later on).

I'd been making resolutions year after year. Some of them were accomplished, some others weren't. Some were accomplished because I worked hard on them, and some because life had favors on me. I should be glad enough to admit that among of them which were not accomplished (mostly) were not because I didn't work hard on them, but becauselife didn't take side on me.

However, new year resolutions has been bringing some "damages" on me. As I had been taking them too seriously, I had my blood pressure raised up beyond my control.

I've been learning that being serious toward life itself is enough for me. I just need to fulfill my tasks on daily basis faithfully, knowing that I've done every one of it to my utmost, then I can leave the rest to God.

Afterall, God is always awake and He is ready to decide whatever things which need His blessings!

Just like one of my recipes book which picture is uploaded here. To my surprise,this little book has been sold well that my publisher thought it was worth reprinted. So be it! It has been reprinted and another 3000 copies are already disributed among bookstores all over Indonesia.

Without being too seriously about New Year resolutions, I hope God will give His favors and I am wishing myself a good luck as well!

And by the way, I am thanking God for His blessings and His taking care of me through all the years of my life!!!!

THE CHRISTMAS TIME MOOD

2008-12-23T22:12:00.003+07:00

There is a big Christmas tree put up in a plaza of the newest mall in Surabaya.
This giant Christmas tree is really stirring up the mood of anticipating the coming of Christmas.

As far as I know, this is the most beautiful Christmas tree which is ever erected in a mall in my hometown. No wonder people take their pictures and use the tree as the background. This is a quite unusual behavior for those living in here.

MY DAY OFF

2008-12-13T14:37:00.003+07:00

Last Saturday was really a day off for me. I did really enjoy myself.

I sneaked off from my routines and had myself pampered. I went for a facial session and then moved to have my hair-spa treatment and had my hair done too.

If I have ever given a choice as to how I should spend my time (and my money, of course!), I would prefer doing a whole body treatment rather going for a shopping!
Can't resist the thought of having the whole world for me alone!

MANAGING THE STRESS

2008-12-04T09:36:00.003+07:00

Cooking is always a way for me to chase away stresses. Somehow, when I have to concentrate on ingredients, measurements and methods, evil thoughts are gone.

The picture which I have posted here is my latest stress chaser. As soon as I finished putting the jelly liquid into the mold, I felt refreshed. And when it was set and looked satisfying, I felt even revived.

Now I am going to make some more to send to my friends as Christmas gifts as well as to sell them.

I have posted my other creations of puddings in www.2sweethearts.wordpress.com.

HANDLING THE LIFE

2008-11-05T08:47:00.003+07:00

One day, I was given a keyholder. On it is written: "LIfe is fragile, handle with prayer".

How true! Who could deny that it is not?

With all recent breaking news like the China milk issues, various nature disasters as well as the sudden global financial collapses, one cannot but agree that life is indeed fragile.

Common thing is we handle fragile things with care; but as for life, we cannot just handle it with care but with prayer. Ora et Labora, to be precise.

My Auntie

2008-08-25T14:30:00.006+07:00

Yes, she is the owner of most recipes writtenin my cooking book!

She is my mom's eldest sister and she is my mom's only female sibling. She is 8 years older than my mom (but my mom is not with us anymore).

My auntie is now about 78 years old. But, gee, her spirit is not that old and perhaps, that is why her body is not that deterioting.

As far as I know, my auntie is a very hard worker. She works diligently almost the whole of her life, just like my mom. My auntie is a seamstress for at least, 50 years. She is not only capable of sewing, but she is also great with embroidering, knitting and whatever it comes with needles, clothes, fabrics, threads,...you name it.

But it's not her skills which make me admire her. Just like my mother, she shows how strong a woman can be. She helps supporting the family; not just her own family, but her siblings' as well. I remember the times when she sent my mother packages of vegetables, cakes, cookies and in the mids of the stuffs, there was always a little white envelope with my mom's name on it. The white envelope contained some amount of money.

Other than this, my auntie is truly a believer. I cannot find a single word from her mouth which shows her distrust toward our Lord. She always trust that her helps will come from above. She believes that the Lord will meet her needs.

Now that my auntie is very old, deep inside I am afraid of losing her just like I lost my mom more than 10 years ago.

She is now the glue that stick our big family from my mom's side. Whenever she is no more with us, the responsibility will fall on me since I am the oldest female in present generation within our "clan". The males in present generation within my clan are very successful now and therefore very busy that they wont be able to act meticulously.

Will I be able to carry on the torch? Will I be ableto glue all the membes in my big family?
These are the questions I must resolve.

The Owner

2008-08-06T14:59:00.002+07:00

My first recipe book has a lot of family recipees inside. Most of those family recipees were belonged to my auntie and my late mother.

Because they are oldies, there are not any additives ingredients in the recipees except for baking powder, baking soda and cream of tartar.

Accordingly, in order to be successful in baking or cooking using the recipees, there is no other way than keep practising and sharpening your skills and feelings.

Happy trying!

Now It's about Food!

2008-06-29T21:06:00.003+07:00

It has been my dream since I was a kid that one day I might be able to write things and be published. It wasn't an empty dream.

My first published works was poems and essays. I sent them to some national publications and they could make it to the public eyes. I remember, the very first was a poem and it was published when I was 10 years old.

After I got married, my first piece was also a poem. It was compiled with other poets' works from many countries under the title "The Gleaming Path". Then, came "Lima Menit Saja" which was published in 2006. Then in 2007, my flash story was also published along with other Indonesian writers' works. Now in 2008, another of my work is being published. But, I had never dreamed that my interest in culinary world would one day bring benefit to others! A publisher asked me to write a recipe book. And here it is!

It's such a joy to share something universal with my fellowmen: food.

Working! Working! Working!

2008-05-19T12:04:00.001+07:00

(picture taken from internet)

Too much homework and no play makes Jack a dull boy!

Gee, am I a dull Jack now? All I do is working. Typing. Reading. Writing.

I love typing, reading and writing for hobbies. And I love traveling, too.

But I have been typing, reading and writing for something other than hobbies for sometime. I am working. I am doing my job. And I will get paid. I am losing the leisure of typing, reading and writing. They have become a very serious task!

Now, this is hobby: writing to post something in my blog. I am taking the effort to do my hobby, otherwise I will really be a dull Jack.

Guess, I have to learn how to meet business and pleasure and get the both benefits. Could I, with all the thought about the date line?

Could You Help Me?

2008-03-05T07:34:00.003+07:00

(NEVER MIND! PROBELEM SOLVED!) :-)

I have a problem with my last post "Starting It All Over Again".

I have uploaded a photo successfully, yet the photo doesn't appear; or at least I can't see.

Is there any of you who has experienced the same thing? You uploaded a picture successfully but it didn't appear?

Please let me know.

Thanks a million.

STARTING IT ALL OVER AGAIN

2008-02-12T22:37:00.005+07:00

(picture taken from internet)

I hate the idea of starting it all over again. What a waste if we have to redo whatever things we have accomplished so far. Yet, there were times when I had to start things all over again from the beginning. And mostly, though unwillingly, I must admit that I had to redo things due to my ignorance or even my own mistakes.

Sometimes ago, I decided to change the look of this blog. So I changed the template. But to my dismay, some important parts of the blog were gone, along with the other changes. The shoutbox was gone. And the web counter was gone too! I don’t have the idea how many people had been blogwalking undetected by me.

I knew, it would rob me some good amount of time to give my blog a retouch. And I didn’t have that kind of luxury. Or did I? Anyway, I left the blog imperfect for quite a long time until I felt guilty! I had to make the time to retouch my blog or I would neglect it at all! And when is the best time to make amend other than a new year?

So here it is! I have a blog with a new look—the shoutbox and the counter are recovered. But there is still a price to pay: the shoutbox is still empty—I lost all the chats; and I don’t remember how many people had blogwalked previously that the counter must now start from the zero count again.

But an act of starting things all over again is much, much better compared to let things get static with no improvement which actually means waiting for a final decay.

Isn’t it the same with our life? We must redo it if necessary. There are times when we have to admit that our life has undergone a set back or even a damage, and we have to rebuild, retouch or redesign it, otherwise it will experience a complete ruin.

And I have to tell you, it needs a bunch of courage from us to be able to make such decision: a decision to start it all over once again. However, make one step backward then forwarding two steps are not a too bad thing either.

So, have happy new year! A happy new me! A happy new you! A happy new us!

(I dedicate this post to Ophelia Tongco whose thoughts are—very often—mine unspoken!)

Ooooops!

2007-09-18T23:10:00.000+07:00

June, July, August, September......
Ooopss....it was June 24 that I posted my last thought!
Been very long. Infact, too long.

Reasons?
1. There was something wrong with the cookie in my computer,
2. Been deadly busy that I didnt have time to fix the cookie, which shamefully took only less than 5 mins.

Now, I am a forgiving person. This time, I can forgive me.
No big deal.

Moreover, here I am again. And I am smiling that I can post again.

the russian dolls

2007-06-24T19:04:00.000+07:00

The Russian dolls is actually a set of dolls. Beneath the doll is another smaller doll. Beneath this smaller doll is an even smaller one. It goes on and on until the smallest doll is impossible to have its own “offspring”. It then stops there.

Previously, I have never paid attention to this doll, until one of my senior in a certain circle I involved told us one phenomena which is very common in the leadership situation. He used the Russian dolls to illustrate the phenomena.

My senior said that the doll is best described the problem of linked to the word “successor”. Many leaders reluctant in imparting their skills to the juniors that the juniors cannot grow into their maximum potentials. The juniors are not able to grow greater than their superiors not even as great as the superiors themselves. Likewise, these juniors learn how to be thrifty in passing their skills to the younger ones. As a result the second generation of these juniors grow as dwarfs compared to the generation prior to theirs, and they are even like baby-dwarfs if compared to the two generations prior to them. And the story goes on and on…until it stops to nothing like the littlest Russian dolls.

The questions are:
1. Why does this phenomena happen?
2. Are we a part of the Russian dolls phenomena? Or even worse, are we the one actively playing the Russian dolls?

The answer to the first question is clear enough. But the answer to the second? We may as well answer it by ourselves!

Martha Pratana

(the Indonesian version of this article is posted in www.tagliner.blogspot.com)

Not Only The Hype, Please

2007-05-14T13:37:00.000+07:00

(picture of the tomb in Israel is taken from the internet)

How many days have we been away from the Easter?
The Ascension is even about to be here.

After all the hype, do we still feel -and most importantly experience-the power of His Resurrection?

Let's forget not that because He lives we can both have and face tomorrows.
The empty tomb has spoken a lot than we are able to digest, hasn't it?

THAT'S WHAT EASTER IS FOR

2007-04-08T15:36:00.000+07:00

A lesson yet to Learn

2007-04-06T17:52:00.000+07:00

"Father forgive them for they know not what they do."
- the words of Jesus.

Father, teach me to say the same about those who hate me,
and teach me to hear the prayers of those whom I hate about me,
that I may repent!

THE GOOD FRIDAY

2007-04-06T17:32:00.000+07:00

Good Friday is the mirror held up by Jesus...it turns us to that cross and to his eyes and we hear these words, "Father forgive them for they know not what they do."

-Robert G. Trache

The Getshemane Occasion

2007-04-06T17:03:00.000+07:00

This is a picture of the famous olive tree in the Garden of Getshemane, a place where Jesus prayed fervently during His final hours on earth. Tradition has it that Jesus prayed just where that olive tree is now. We never know.

While we may doubt of the spot where Jesus prayed, we may be certain that Jesus did pray in the Getshemane fervently that He sweated blood. The Bible says that He was so distressed during the approaching moments of His dead.

I couldn't imagine how sorrowful Jesus that He sweated blood! But knowing the Getshemane occasion has always been a source of strength to me। If the Son of Man had ever been so distressed, then it's normal that I too could become so depressed। And if the Son of Man had ever experienced His darkest moments, then He too would understand mine। And I trust that He will walk me through it. In fact, that's what He has alwyas been doing!

Hope the Getshemane Occasion has given you some strength too!

FOR THE SAKE OF TEAMWORKING

2007-03-15T15:48:00.000+07:00

Talking about being a leader is not talking about position, but talking about responsibilities. One of those responsibilities is savely bringing the group that you lead to the destination, namely the goal(s).

Of course, you don't lead alone. You have people to help you lead, and sometimes you have the senior(s) that want(s) to be helped by you. In these cases, it's them who have to submit to you or it's you who have to yield to them. It's that simple. And it's called "the teamworking".

But, the case is different when you have to work with co-workers. You don't have the obligation to always submit to them, but neither do they to you. Here the arts are soberity, soundmindness and self-controlled wills. You have to know what to do, how to (re)act and what to say in the right time and in the right place. And it's still called "the teamworking".

Unfortunately, there are times when you know that you must say something or (re)act in a certain way, but you know as well that the time is not favorable and the time is not right too! In this situation, you will split the group if you insist on doing or saying what is in your mind.

What shall you do then?

I think the best thing is to say "after you" and keep your opinion for a better time. In this way you keep the group intact and the goal of the group will most likely be achieved!

OFF WITH CHOCOLATE and ORANGES

2007-03-10T17:27:00.000+07:00

The seasons of chocolates and then oranges have gone. Valentine's day and lunar new year have past. The festive days are far over.

What's left?

Life goes on and carries on. Unrealistic dreams are casted away, works are chrerished once again. It's now the season of the 'realtime'. It's the time of the real challenges.

Can we survive ? Time will tell.

But, don't lose hope yet. Soon the season of real spring will come. Wait. Be patient. Once again we will be reminded :

"Because He lives I can face tomorrows,
Because He lives, I know I have the future!"

Be of a good courage.

Talking about Weights

2007-02-02T10:38:00.000+07:00

This year, many of my friends - males and females - includes getting slender into their new year resolutions. Some of them even made a determination to lose 10 kilos, no matter what. Within my church circle, "I will do anything to get it done" which has become the motto of the year is also connected to the goal of getting slimmer.

To me, getting slimmer has become a life pursuit since the day I reached my pre-teenage-time. I have learned how to tamper my appetite since the first time I heard my friends calling me nicknames connected to my being not slender while I was still in the elementary school. Because of the nicknames, I felt so inadequate, thinking that I was "really that fat". I was struggling with the thought that I wasn't beautiful until I was "educated" by what I read that what is more important is inner beauty, not the physical one. I stopped worrying about not being pretty and started to learn to enhance my inner-self. Though I did never quit of being careful of what I ate, I paid more attention on how to be a "brainy" girl rather than on a "brawny" slender one.

I know there are many reasons of why some people really want to be slim. One of my lady friend tries her best to keep herself slim after the birth of her 6th child because she is afraid of losing her spouse if she gains weight. Some others want their tummies flat because they want to look good in their jeans. And for some people, there are other reasons. And another. And another...

During a visit to a beauty parlor, I overheard a conversation between two ladies. One of them said, "You shouldn't try to get slimmer because of your husband's demand, but you should do it because you want to stay healthy!" What an enlightenment!.

Overhearing the conversation, I now have an even better reason as to why I should try my best not to gain weight.: to stay healthy and mobile in my mature age. With heavy body I won't be as mobile as I want. I don't need to put losing weights as my goal this year, though, as it has been my entire life attempt so far. And I guess I'd rather do "it" than putting it as my resolution.

16 DAYS AFTER and 1 STAR TO FOLLOW

2007-01-16T21:55:00.000+07:00

16 days after my new year’s resolution.

I am proud to list here what I consider accomplishments :

1. I have done my first trip : to Puncak – West Java. I was sent to attend a leaders’ conference set up by my church. I will make another trip to Magelang – Central Java by the end of this week. Still, for a ministry purpose.

2. I have managed to spend time (a lot of it!) in front of the computer just to study the development and progress of my church website : www.ncccnet.org. Never in my life I learn or seek to know anything about a website as much as I have been doing now. The reason is now I am responsible for the ups (and downs) of the site since I am officially assigned as the head of the Media Team in my church. Hopefully, I will witness only the ups (and not the downs!) in the coming years. May God help me and the rest of the team members!

3. I have managed to spend more quality time with my children. No PC (and internet) after 4 pm! If I still need to work around with the computer, I use the laptop which I can carry around. I enjoyed working with my laptop, while watching my kids preparing the books for tomorrow’s school schedule. I was able to have enjoyable conversations with them : answering their questions, responding their chit-chat, commenting on their antics and so on, and so on…

4. Other daily activities like sending and replying emails, writings, readings, checking on agendas….and other menial jobs plus domestic chores…

Here are things which I so desperately want to accomplish by the end of this week :
Helping my first kid sending her first story to the kids’ corner in one publication. Thanks God, I have done helping her with the editing.
Finishing the preparation of my second book and have it sent to a publisher.

Of course, there are still a heap of things I want to do during this week, but they can wait until the end of this month.

Looking at my “things to do” list, I feel like following too many stars to guide me to reach my destination(s). It makes me panic to see how many things need to get done. But I must understand that actually there is only ONE Star to follow in order to reach destination(s); the same One Star that guided the Magi to meet the baby Savior thousands and thousands years ago. It is the Lord Himself. I must follow That One Star, and the other stars will also follow Him. Together, I and those other stars will journey to reach one destination prepared. So, I guess, I must learn not to panic. After all, there is only One Star to follow!

NEW YEAR RESOLUTION

2006-12-31T23:31:00.001+07:00

This is the first time in my life that I have my New Year Resolutions be known publicly. I guess, it may have some good and positive sides. I will be compelled to be more responsible and have more moral obligation in reaching them since they are now open for people to know whether or not I walk the talk.

In 2007,
First – I’d like to write a daily schedule FAITHFULLY. I must not miss even a single day to write it DAILY. This written daily schedule is important for me to check whether or not I have made the most of my day; whether or not I have used it effectively.
Second – I’d like to take care of my family better, be a positive influence and enhancement for my husband and kids. I’d like to make sure I am not in the position of hindering them in any way and in whatever case is.
Third – I’d like to spend more time with my kids. I’ll be with them in our family room after 4 pm. If I still need to be around the computer, I’ll make sure that I’ll use my laptop instead of my PC.
Fourth – I’d like to be able to finish writing another book in 2007. Hopefully the book is worth considered by some publisher.
Five – I’d like to be able to set up, at least, another blog with different content(s).

At the end of 2007, I invite all of you who happen to blogwalk here to check on me if I have accomplished my New Year Resolutions. I also invite you to send me your New Year Resolution and I’ll be happy to check on you whether you have walked the talks.

Happy New Year, everybody. Share your thoughts to martha_pratana@yahoo.com and I’ll post them in my blog.

UPON CELEBRATING MY BLOG

2006-12-28T22:11:00.000+07:00

Horray!
Posting this article means that I have written the 52nd article of my blog.
At average level : 1 post per week; 52 articles around the year.
Not bad for a beginner!

I am amazed at myself! (A bit narcistics ?)
Finally, I am able to convinced myself that I have reached the goal I set at the beginning of my bloglife.
I determined that I must write 52 posts by the end of this year.

I preserve life : mine and other’s. I capture pictures and transform them into alphabets, then words, then statements in the form of sentences until at last they are reborn into ideas and thoughts. I may add some touch ups, give some changes – a bit here, a bit there, and perhaps disguise and protect someone’s life by giving a twist to the original scenarios. My final act is to put them into my blog, like putting all pictures into a gigantic frame. And my final purpose is – all the same – may my blog becomes a device for broaden our ability to ponder life.

But, why so much of the effort?

Writing blog is all important to me. While themes do not always pop up in mind – either required by my honourable publisher or by my-ever-restless-soul – I am relieved to know that I can write about anything in my blog. I don’t have any reason to stop writing because my blog always welcome me. I don’t have to be afraid of hearing somebody says “your ideas don’t sell” to me.

Writing blog has some other facets to. It sharpens and enchances the skills of writing instilled within my life since the beginning of my existence – in nowhere – by my Great Creator.

However, my final purpose is, as always, – all the same : may my blog becomes a device for broaden our ability to ponder life.

So, happy new year, people!
Ooops, what I mean is Merry Christmas! May His Great Life take its birth in our little life.

And, before I forget, let’s celebrating with me my article # 52.
If one of you ever wants to post an article but not interested in having your own blog, you may send your article(s) – be in in English or in Bahasa Indonesia - to my email address : martha_pratana@yahoo.com. And it will be an honor to me to post your writing in my www.thelifecorner.blogspot.com.

Let’s celebrate the life He has given us!

Another Prespective

2006-12-21T11:00:00.000+07:00

The Christmas Gifts
- another perspective

Dear Lord,
In the deep of this silence,
In the middle of this winter heart,
Allow me to ask you for something.

Not that I don’t remember,
You have given the best of you
While I wasn’t even here
While I wasn’t worth even a bit.

But, dear Lord,
This heavy heart
Needs something to warm up
Need something to melt it
It even needs a hug,
The words l-o-v-e
A statement I-miss-you
Or just a simple sincere how-are-you

Or, oh boy...
Have I forgotten already your warmth?
Have I nullified those feelings
When in the first nights
I could hear you even in the deepest of silence,
Amidst the most frozen coldness,
Within the creepy darkest nowhereness?

Dear Lord,
Forgive me if it is so.

CHRISTMAS GIFT(S)

2006-12-21T10:40:00.000+07:00

Dear Lord,
As if The Birth, The Death, The Rising, and The Going Back To Back To Heaven are not enough, I am asking you for something(s) now.

Oh yeah, the greedy me is here again.
Give me this, Lord! Give me that!
Don’t stop me! Don’t you ever dare!
For I’ve never had enough.

As long as I live,
And as long as I have my breath,
I am gonna satisfy me – my – mine;
Oh, btw...I, too!
(gosh, how could I forget to mention it?)

Dear Lord,
Don’t tell me I am asking too much!

Period.

THIS CHRISTMAS FEELING

2006-12-09T09:51:00.000+07:00

Years and years ago, Christmas had always brought me a mixture of mellow but anticipating feelings. It gave me a nuance of mellow because it came in the moody, cloudy, wet season. But the message of the coming of the King had always give me the anticipation of the coming of the new hopes and the new opportunities.

Then there were times when Christmas brought me only happy and excited anticipations. They were the times when my little kids saw Christmas with their brightest eyes. I had always been encouraged to see as they did. The mellowness disappeared.

But funny, this Christmas retains only the mellow nuance in my heart. I have already lost the anticipation.

Tell me, what's wrong with me?

STILL ABOUT FISH

2006-12-05T09:06:00.000+07:00

This cartoon picture makes me ponder (my) life. I'd like to be like fish, living a quiet but vivid, colorful and fruitful life. Yet, at times, I asked myself if I have made the most of this life and have produced something really meaningful? There is only one thin line between living a quiet, colorful and fruitful life and living a quiet, colorfull BUT UNfruitful life. Surely, I don't want to be like these screensaver fish!

I need food and (certainly) love to rejunevate my spirit so that I may give birth to useful things, and finally when I have to meet my death, I won't be scared since I have all the accountabilities to my Creator.

Picture taken from internet.

FOR THE LOVE OF PET

2006-10-19T08:41:00.000+07:00

During one flight, my friend Rebekka asked me about my favorite pet. I told her I don't have pets. Yet, she insisted that I had to think what pet I possibly like and which first flash in my mind upon the conversation of it. She said she could tell my personality based on the kind of pet I chose.

After pondering awhile, I found out that subconsciously I love fish very much. I remembered some occasions when I stared at them endlessly; upon accompanying my husband and my kids to the fish pet market one night, for instance. I savoured all those living and vivid colors moving soundlessly here and there in the tanks and aquariums.

Moving soundlessly and presenting the vivid colors! That's the reason I love fish! The fish move quietly, slashing and gliding smoothly into the water. The fish live, are active and are always into the actions. But produce only minimum sound. I think in this life,- just like the fish - I don't want to be a loud person. I don't want to draw people's attention. I don't enjoy people giving me applause. I just want to be a quiet person, yet fruitfull. I want to work in the silence, yet presenting something enjoyable and beneficial to others. Most importantly, I want to present some vivid colors to my Creator. Yeah, at times I have always been most satisfied when I thought I have reached this point.

Does this signify me as an introvert?

I don't know. But I do really want to be like fish.

NOTHING IS OF PERMANENCE

2006-09-11T19:56:00.000+07:00

This is the picture of my father in-law and his grandchildren : David – Gianina – Charissa - Michelle – Stacey – Celine. David was the only prince in the family. It seemed that he was the one who was going to carry on the Tan blood in the family because all the other grandchildren are all girls. My husband and his siblings (one younger brother and one younger sister) had decided that there would not be any additional member anymore in the family. For the last few years we all had enjoyed traveling and doing activities as a group of 14 – (8 adults + 6 children). We thought it would be like that forever, at least as long as the grandparents are granted long lives.

But, to our surprise, another member was added into our family! My husband younger sister was pregnant and since August 25, 2006, another prince has been in our family! David is no longer the sole successor of the Tan Kingdom.
To some people it is just a mere ordinary domestic life story. But I am amazed by the change! The born of Christopher has reconfirmed me of one of the saying I found sometime ago (I forget who said it) : “The only permanence in this world is change itself!”

I have the inclination of loving permanence. I don’t like too many changes. I’d rather have a routine than facing an abrupt challenge of new thing, but the coming of Christopher in our family has forced me to realize that nothing is of permanence. I have to make myself ready for every change and challenge of this life. I have to be brave. I must have courage to carry on this life. I must dare jumping out of the box.

SEE-HEAR-SPEAK NO EVILS II

2006-08-28T19:02:00.000+07:00

(pictures taken from internet)

SEE NO EVILS - HEAR NO EVILS - SPEAK NO EVILS

2006-08-19T19:42:00.000+07:00

Have you guys ever seen images of these three monkeys? Probably yes, for some of you.
I have myself some more pictures of these monkeys.

I love the imagery conveyed through these three monkeys very much. I heard it came from the ancient wisdom of Japanese people. It was said that we should not see evils, - therefore cover our eyes! One quick thing flashing in mind while talking about evils we should not see is indecent pictures. Nowadays, it's not hard to find indecent pictures for us to "enjoy". The internet is definetely one device which gives us the "luxury" of having that habit without being known.

They also believe that we should not hear evils, therefore cover our ears! What evil things we possibly hear? I trust that there are a lot of them! One is listening to unedifying conversations of others, including the advices or suggestions which do not correspondent to the Godly truth.

Then they also believe that we should not speak evils, therefore cover our mouth! Wheew.....when coming to this, I know that I can provide us with unlimited instances. I have to admit that this is the area which I must excercise without ceasing! Speaking evils? I can do it 24 hours per day! I can speak profanities. I can lie. I can gossip. I can entertain people with dirty jokes. I can even pierce you with my ever-sharp tongue....Just name the action!
But if monkeys should see no evils, hear no evils and speak no evils...., then the truth must be better applied to me as a human being! Otherwise, I will be worse than monkeys. How disgusting!

THE SPREAD OF THE EVILS

2006-08-18T23:38:00.000+07:00

Bad news travel fast. I agree. To my opinion, so do the evils.

Teach a kid to do well or behave properly; and it will take some times before he could chew and digest it. But let him watch the bad deeds done; and without being asked he would just do the same thing in not too long time.

So beware when someone inclines you to do evils. In a short time you might be more sophisticated than he is.

(picture taken from the internet)

THE BACTERIA

2006-08-18T23:00:00.000+07:00

When I saw the image which I put here, I was impressed. To me it looked like a flower-printed cloth. It looked soft, reminding me of those clothes used to cover newly born babies.

But make no mistakes! It is not cloth at all. It is a picture of leprosy bacteria.

At a glance it looks nice, but surely the bacteria hides death. The bacteria has power to turn beautiful people – men and women – into some zombie-like creatures. I don’t have the heart to put pictures of people suffered from leprosy. We will be horrified to see ones here.

The deadly bacteria reminds me of the deadly evil things. Most, if not all, evil things seems nice at the beginning of our encountering them. We might even enjoy them at the time we say “echante!” to them. But then as soon as they grabs our hands, rarely they will give us up. They will squeeze us to dead just like the bacteria will do to one’s self.

What evils do I talk about?

All kinds of evils, of course. And I am glad to mention one of them : pornography.

THE FOOTPRINTS

2006-08-17T11:45:00.000+07:00

(picture taken from the internet)

One night a woman had a dream. She dreamed she was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from her life. For each scene , she noticed two sets of footprints on the sand; one belonging to her, and the other to the Lord.

When the last scene of her life flashed before her, she looked back at the footprints on the sand. She noticed that many times along the path of her life, there was only one set of footprints. She also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest time in her life...

This really bothered her and she questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you. you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most, you would leave me."

The Lord replied, "My daughter, my precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then when I carried you."
- author unknown

MY FRIENDS, IT SOUNDS FAMILIAR; AT LEAST, TO ME!
SO MANY TIMES I FELT I WAS A LONE RANGER; BUT THEN HE PROVED THAT I WASN'T.
HERE ARE AGAIN :

Since God assured us, "I'll never let you down, never walk off and leave you,"
- The Message Hebrew 13:5

"And I'll keep on carrying you when you're old. I'll be there, bearing you when you're old and gray. I've done it and will keep on doing it, carrying you on my back, saving you."
- The Message Isaiah 46:4

HIS FACE

2006-08-06T15:57:00.000+07:00

(picture taken from the internet)

Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full on His wonderful face
And the things of earth
will grow strangely dim
In the light of His Glory and Grace."

The Lord bless you and keep you
the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you
the LORD turn his face toward you....
and give you peace"

WHITNEY HOUSTON

2006-06-26T17:00:00.000+07:00

Whitney Houston was one of my favorite singers. I love her voice very much because of its clarity and its pitch. Almost every of her hits made me fall in love.

Recently I received some pictures of Whitney through emails. I am so sad to see my once sweet black singer has now turns to be what she is now.

I read in the email and other medias what Whitney has been going through in her life. People gave comments, critics, pity, deep insight, common wisdoms ...whatever they call it - upon what happens to her. They acted as if they knew (read : really knew) about her life.

But, did they?

All I can say is that Whitney could have been just one of us; or the other way around, we could have been just like her if it's not for the Creator's grace and tender mercy!

martha pratana

(picture taken from the internet)

THE PEACEFUL LAKE TOBA

2006-06-09T22:37:00.000+07:00

This is a picture of one part of Lake Toba.
So peaceful, so tranquil.
If only peace and tranquility belong to mankind forever; would it bring only goodness to this life?

(picture : taken from internet)

YOGYA

2006-06-09T13:26:00.000+07:00

(picture : taken from internet)

How long has it been since the first Yogya earthquake? I didn't even want to count anymore because the very thought of it has been draining my energy mentally. Strange that I felt so melancholic about the happening. However, I found out the reasons recently.

I had visited Yogya for many times during my childhood times. It was a transit station before I took another journey to visit my aunt, my ucle and my cousins who live in Magelang - a little town not far from Yogya. This brings a fond memories of the city. Therefore I feel the link.

Then, I have friends here who live in Yogya. I met some of them again a few years ago after several years of separation.

I couldn't believe that an earthquake could strike a "save" place like Yogya. But the fact that the quake did happen in Yogya reminds me that actually there wasn't any save place in this earth. Any thing - just any thing - can possibly happen as long as there is land down there and there is sky up there. Consequently, we are required to live sensibly and uprightly so that we are ready to meet every and any happening without fear of losing it "forever" since we have lived our life to its fullest, according to the rules and regulations of The Great Creator.

THE ROAD NOT TAKEN

2006-05-24T20:27:00.000+07:00

I read this poem when I was very young, when life seemed offer me with so many choices and opportunities. I was glad SOMEBODY UP THERE helped me to choose which road I had to take!
--------------------
- by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

(picture taken from the internet)

HE'LL BE BACK

2006-05-24T20:05:00.000+07:00

He went back.
He said, I'll be back
-do not grief, I'll be back
better for me to go,
and prepare things for you.

He went back,
but He said, do not grief
-I'll be back
because I love you
cry no more, wipe your tears
I'll be back

SOMEWHERE OUT THERE

2006-05-24T19:52:00.000+07:00

** If we don't think there is someone out there who is thinking, loving and praying for us; then let's be that someone out there who is thinking, loving and praying for somebody.
------------------------------
- by James Ingram and Linda Ronstadt

Somewhere out there,
Beneath the pale moon light,
Someone's thinking of me,
And loving me tonight.
Somewhere out there,
Someone's saying a prayer,
Then we'll find one another,
In that big somewhere out there.

(Chorus 1)
And even though I know how very far apart we are,
It helps to think we might be wishing
On the same bright star,
And when the night will start to sing
A lonesome lullaby,
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the
Same big sky.

(Chorus 2)
Somewhere out there,
If love can see us through,
Then, we'll be together,
Somewhere out there, out where dreams, come true.

CITRA BIRU- Vina Panduwinata

2006-05-23T12:05:00.000+07:00

"Kulihat hari semakin cerah,
Inikah jawaban bagi hati yang gundah?"
------------------

Citra biru
Citra khayalku
Membawaku ke alam yang semu
berkabut kelabu
aku semakin ragu
semakin tak tahu

Citra biru
Datang berlalu
Meninggalkan satu kenangan
yang mungkin berkesan
untuk membuka jalan
Di masa depan sebelum prasangka mengganggu

kutahu ini tak selalu terlupa
menjadi satu kenyataan yang indah
kulihat hari semakin cerah
inikah jawaban bagi hati yang gundah
-------------------------------------------
All right reserved. © Iloveblue.com
Source: http://www.loveblue.com/liri

TEMAN BARU

2006-05-12T09:37:00.000+07:00

Sudah seminggu ini mailbox ku kedatangan email dari seorang teman baru. Aku tidak tahu siapa dia, tapi percakapan kami bisa renyah.

Yang aku pikirkan, betapa kecilnya dunia ini sekarang. Jarak bisa diperpendek melalui teknologi yang canggih. Aku juga berpikir, teknologi yang semakin canggih ini mampu menggiring kita ke berbagai arah; tinggal pilih : arah yang + atau yang -.

Misalnya, dengan adanya fasilitas ATM, kita bisa memilih mengembangkan teknis untuk menipu para pengguna ATM dan memindahkan isi rekening mereka ke rekening kita sendiri. Juga dengan teknologi komputer yang serba canggih, kita bisa memilih untuk setia di jalur yang benar atau sebaliknya.

Pilihan ada di tangan kita. Manakah yang hendak kita pilih?

OVERWORKS

2006-05-09T16:54:00.000+07:00

heaps of paper,
piles of words.
the keyboard tapped,
the screen blinks

things
- jumping here and there
time flies

morning to dusk
evening to almost midnight

overtime

thank God,
life is still carried out
the breath is still breatheable
serenity is still perceived
amidst the busyness,
because of You,
because of the prayers You heard
and answered...

CAMELLIA 3

2006-05-01T17:07:00.000+07:00

To the memories of someone I lost.
(picture taken from internet)

"Oh Camelia, katakanlah ini satu mimpiku
Oh oh oh oh oh
Camelia, maafkanlah segala khilap dan salahku

Disini dikamar ini
yang ada hanya gambarmu

Kusimpan dekat dengan tidurku
dan mimpiku"
--------------------------------
- by : EBIET G ADE

Di sini dibatu ini
akan kutuliskan lagi
namaku dan namamu

Maafkan bila waktu itu
dengan tuliskan nama kita
kuanggap engkau berlebihan

Sekarang setelah kau pergi
Kurasakan makna tulisanmu
Meski samar tapi jelas tegas
Engkau hendak tinggalkan kenangan
dan kenangan

Disini kau petikkan kembang
Kemudian engkau selipkan
pada tali gitarku

Maafkan bila waktu itu
kucabut dan kubuang
Kau pungut lagi dan kau bersihkan

Engkau berlari sambil menangis
Kau dakap erat kembang itu

Sekarang baru aku mengerti
Ternyata kembangmu kembang terakhir
yang terakhir

Oh Camelia, katakanlah ini satu mimpiku
Oh oh oh oh oh
Camelia, maafkanlah segala khilap dan salahku

Disini dikamar ini
yang ada hanya gambarmu

Kusimpan dekat dengan tidurku
dan mimpiku

All right reserved. © Iloveblue.com
Source: http://www.loveblue.com/lirik
(picture taken from the internet)

SPRING

2006-04-28T13:32:00.000+07:00

Spring
Printempts
Fruhling
Molla
De lente
Bocha
Resorte
Chuen Thian
Musim semi...

whatever is your name,
I am waiting for you here
I will not grow tired
till you thaw the frozen soil and
bring me the colors of a rainbow
once again

(picture taken from the internet)

IMAGINING

2006-04-28T10:25:00.000+07:00

I am imagining...

Lying on the bed of red roses,
with a tint of white jasmine color
here and there,
and the yellow, and the pink, and the peach-colored flowers,
and the green leaves of many kinds,
here and there.

Fingers clasped,
lips smiling,
eyes closed,
thinking of You,
while inhaling the smell of lavender
vaporizing from a little burner with drops of aromatherapy oil
lit by a little tea lite candle

How great
and so much better
than imagining
or letting out
all the evils from
my mind
and nurturing them

(picture taken from the internet)

A MIDNITE WISH

2006-04-28T10:15:00.000+07:00

In the mid of this nite,
could You just come down for a moment?

I need You to talk with me,
sing me a lullaby,
lead me to a peaceful sleep.

Would You hold me,
take my hands
put them on your bossom
so that I can hear Your heart-beats?

In the mid of this nite,
bring me the silence,
the quiteness,
the serenity
of Your never ending love.

In the mid of this nite,
walk with me to the dawn.

TEMAN DAN TUHAN

2006-04-27T23:40:00.000+07:00

CATATAN :
Tentu saja "aku" di sini tidak selalu adalah "aku" - diri saya di sini. Tetapi "aku" di sini adalah salah satu pengejahwantahan "the theater of the mind" setelah mengamati seorang rekan yang imut, baik hati, disukai oleh banyak orang, tetapi ia mengalami banyak luka hati karena disakiti oleh orang-orang terdekatnya.
(Bagian catatan ini saya tambahkan kemudian setelah membaca komentar dari Sisca. Soalnya, ntar dikira narsis, menyebut diri sendiri "orang baik". Gitu :-) )

------------------

Aku dikelilingi oleh teman-teman yang mengasihiku. Mereka menatap ke mataku, lalu ke hatiku. "Engkau orang baik; siapakah dia itu yang tega menyakitimu?" tanya mereka.

Aku menjawab dalam diam.

Aku menangis, mereka mengusap air mataku.

Mereka merangkulku, memelukku dan meletakkan tangan mereka ke atas kepalaku dan mengucapkan berkat-berkat untukku.

Aku tersenyum, aku berterima kasih atas kasih mereka.
Dan aku berkata kepada mereka,
"Aku menantikan Tuhan turun ke bumi"

posted by martha pratana

QUOTES 2

2006-04-26T20:43:00.000+07:00

- Emily Dickinson
Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.
------------------------------------------------------

WONDERFUL DAY

2006-04-26T19:13:00.000+07:00

One evening, I heard Michelle - my first girl hummed a song. I heard this song before, once or twice, but I had never really paid attention to it. But when it was sung by her, I felt touched. I felt strengthened and encouraged by the words. Then the next day, I was sent an email with the same song as an attachment. This time was sung by a children chorus.

All in sudden I felt like a little child who really needs to put her hands in God's to be comforted. I cried. I could feel His promises go straight into my heart.

D A/C# Bm D/A G D/F# Em7 A
Today I Will Walk with my hands in God's

A/G D/F# G E7 A7
Today I will trust in Him and not be afraid

D/F# G B/F# E7 A7
For He will be there, for He will be there

G/B A/C# D C#m7 F#/A# Bm Bm/A G D/F#
Every moment to share, on this wonderful day

Em7 A D
He has made

HAPPY EASTER!

2006-04-16T18:45:00.000+07:00

to :
Anita Lie
Andrew and Kim
Grace and Tony Pangestu
Siskawati
Billy Djohan
Khun
Pak Saumiman
Hendri Bun
Sisca en Francais
Mang Ucup
Monsieur Apollo Lase
Ian nya Khun
Elly Hunara and fam
Ibu Ning
Ita Siregar
Vincentia Hiang Djuwita
Patricia Purplinx
My Joe and the kids
Liana Kosasih
Ellen Pantouw
Hugh Kaiser
Netty and Hans Nooy
Kade and Gerrit
Uncle Benny S.
Ibu Maimunah Natasha
dan lain-lain yang belum tersebutkan....

IN THE NAME OF EASTER

2006-04-16T18:33:00.000+07:00

In the name of Easter
help me to rebuild the wall
of my Jeruzalem
broken down
by the enemies

Help me to fix
the hole in
that broken wall
with new bricks,
purified and made strong by Your fire
with cement made of Your own love

In the name of Easter
make me one Nehemiah
fulfilling the duty
as the man between
You and my people

In the name of Easter
allow me to hear
the joyful laughter
of my people and mine
once again.

Yes,
in the name of Easter,
allow me, Father.

April 16, 2006

WHAT I LIKE ABOUT EASTER

2006-04-16T16:29:00.000+07:00

I like Easter better than Christmas. Not that Christmas is less important than Easter, but I don't like Christmas as much as Easter because Christmas is very much abused that it hardly loses its meaning. Christmas is now losing its simplicity which was once marked by the simple birth of our dear Lord. Christmas is now way too expensive and too gaudy. It has too many colors than it should.

Unlike Christmas, seldom is Easter celebrated glamourously. Sure, Easter lacks of festivities. It is very solemn. But wasn't it was all solemn at the time our dear Lord was having His last minutes on earth? He sweated blood.

But I like Easter because after all the depressing, dark and heavy hours, the light is there. THE LIGHT IS THERE! It's not a joke. THE LIGHT IS THERE! Our dear Lord had risen and He provided, provides and will provide the light at the end of each (dark) tunnel we are walking now.

I like Easter, especially because of this line which is popular and might be considered cliche by some :
"Because He lives, I can have tomorrows."

Ooops...cliche?
(Who cares? As long as it is the truth I DON'T CARE! Long live the King, Jesus Christ!)

April 16, 2006

THIS EASTER

2006-04-16T16:14:00.000+07:00

This Easter
is a new spring

I see the budding of the seeds
planted years ago
and buried in the years of
freezing winters

This Easter
I keep warm sunrays
in a bucket full of flowers :
jasmines and roses

This Easter
I'd like to dance with You,
singing joyful songs
I used to sing with You
years ago and before

This Easter
I'd like to laugh with You,
looking straight at Your eyes,
and let You dab away the tears
I've been shedding years and years

This Easter,
I keep my hope
in You.

- April 16, 06

WELCOMING MYSELF BACK

2006-04-12T10:24:00.000+07:00

I was an unknown bird
flying high
to an unknown nest

confused

I am an unknown bird
I have flown back
to my own known nest

still confused

Please, help me, Lord
to undone, unlearn
the confusion

Help me to find my way back
to the unconfusion

- martha pratana, april 12, 06

Komentar Temans

2006-03-31T13:35:00.000+07:00

Inke Linggar Djaja (isteri dan ibu muda dari 2 orang anak, Surabaya):
"Buku ini singkat, padat, jelas, dan ‘gue banget’; simple, meaningful, useful and very applicable, especially for my daily life with my children and hubby...."

Monica Stephanus (a housewife, interpreter, speaker and the chairwoman of Yayasan Pondok Hayat, Surabaya):
"It’s a simple and practical book that must be applied in our life, that we may grow, be established and live smartly."

Liana Kosasih (interpreter, translator, alumni Haggai Institute International, dan pelayan Tuhan di Jakarta):
"Lima Menit yang dapat sangat menentukan dalam hidup seseorang. LIMA MENIT yang dapat mengubah hidup seseorang. LIMA MENIT yang dapat berakibat fatal dalam hidup seseorang.... Terima kasih Martha, melalui renungan ini kamu telah menyadarkan kita betapa pentingnya meluangkan waktu paling sedikit LIMA MENIT setiap hari bersama TUHAN."

Grace Pangestu (pebisnis, isteri, dan ibu dari 3 orang anak laki-laki Cerritos, California, USA):
"Buku ini bagus, simpel, dan realistis. Juga related dengan kehidupan saya sehari-hari. Dan, sangat cocok buat saya yang di pagi hari tidak sempat 'berpikir banyak'".

5 MENIT SAJA

2006-03-25T13:29:00.000+07:00

Beberapa tahun yang lalu, saya terinspirasi oleh kata pengantar sebuah buku renungan harian yang diwariskan almarhumah ibu saya, yaitu Renungan Setiap Hari “Lima Menit”, karangan GMA Nainggolan, yang diterbitkan pada tahun 1965 oleh Badan Penerbit Kristen “Gunung Mulia”, Jakarta.

Kata pengantar itu membuat saya disentakkan dan ditobatkan, dan sejak saat itu saya percaya bahwa 5 menit pertama di awal hari (syukur jika bisa lebih dari itu) akan memberi warna pada keseluruhan hari saya. Dan setelah sekian tahun ditekuni, 5 menit bersama Tuhan itu telah berkembang berlipat kali ganda dan berhasil mentransformasikan kehidupan rohani saya.

Dengan membawa konsep 5 menit ini, saya menyusun 60 hari renungan untuk para ibu yang, sudah pasti, memiliki kesibukan yang padat. Saya juga membawa harapan ke dalam buku ini bahwa jika saat teduh yang teratur bersama Tuhan mampu mentransformasi hidup saya, maka para ibu yang lain pun dapat memiliki pengalaman yang sama.

Mari menikmati “5 Menit Saja” bersama Tuhan, dan mari persilakan Dia berkarya di dalam diri kita dari hari ke sehari!

AKU KANGEN

2006-03-19T19:09:00.000+07:00

Aku kangen pada-Mu,
bolehkah kita bertemu
pagi ini?

Aku kangen pada-Mu,
Aku tak ingin mengatakan apa-apa,
Hanya biarkan aku menatap-Mu.

Aku hanya ingin dibiarkan menangis
Di hadapan-Mu.

Surabaya, 7 Pebruari 06
martha

SETELAH SEBUAH PERISTIWA

2006-03-19T19:07:00.000+07:00

Setelah suatu peristiwa,
Aku adalah Lazarus yang bangkit,
Aku masuk dunia baru,
Mataku perlu menyesuaikan diri dengan Terang itu,
Aku perlu makanan bergizi yang baru
Karena tubuhku lemah sehabis mati.

Setelah suatu peristiwa,
Hatiku diperbarui,
Kasihku diperbarui,
Harapanku diperbarui.

Setelah suatu peristiwa,
Hidupku bukannya aku lagi,
Tetapi dimilikiNya.
-o0o-

TO A CYBERFRIEND

2006-03-19T19:04:00.000+07:00

To BDj.

I only met you once or twice
and the rest of my remembrance of you
buried among so many e-mails
we send to each other.

Supposed we were in the same mall now,
or even in the same store
I doubt if I'd ever recognize you.

But, gosh...
how you add colors to my life!

I learn to cherish a genuine friendship,
absent from any physical interuption.

I learn to love,
to care for
someone who's not of my own kin.

Martha Ekawati Pratana

Copyright ©2006 Martha Ekawati Pratana

PRAYING

2006-03-19T19:00:00.000+07:00

I found a little happiness,
a little comfort,
a little hope
when I clasped my hands,
bowed my head.

Just a little,
but that's enough
because we need just a little mustard seed
to move a mountain

So, I found a little happiness,
a little comfort,
a little hope
when I clasped my hands,
bowed my head
letting my soul flying, floating, soaring
to the unlimited sky of His grace.

Martha Ekawati Pratana

Copyright ©2006 Martha Ekawati Pratana

*[a.] Surabaya, Indonesia [title] "Praying" [pers.] I love writing poems. It is
a tool to reflect my deepest inner experiences. I am unable to write ones when I
am not fueled with those kinds of experiences. Somehow, I feel that "Praying"
will be my greatest masterpiece ever, since I realize that none of my deepest
experiences can ever be compared to the experience of praying; the experience of
sensing the presence of the Great Creator. I wish everybody would experience
this beauty too.

Senengnya Ngeblog

2006-03-16T17:04:00.000+07:00

Belakangan ini gw mellow banget. Kayaknya langit keliatan mendung dan kelabu melulu. Apakah gw mengalami chronic depression?

Untunglah gw sekarang bisa ngeblog. Gw bisa ngebuang unek-unek di sini en nyalurin enerji buruk menjadi energi kreatifitas. Bener jg kata Khun, ngeblog membantu agar tetap waras.

Senengnya kalo nulis blog itu kita bisa nulis apa aja, tanpa dibatasi peraturan tulis menulis. Bahasa dan kalimat bisa semau-mau dan semood kita. Mau panjang ato pendek jg terserah, ga harus sekian....words gitu...

Terima kasih gw kepada Khun yang menyulut api 'goblog' gw.

gw : mp

QUOTES 1

2006-03-16T16:50:00.000+07:00

“In the End, we will not remember the words of our enemies ,
but the silence of our friends” - Martin Luther King

(The Poet's Eyes) - SEBELUM SUATU PERISTIWA

2006-03-16T10:03:00.000+07:00

Sebelum suatu peristiwa,
Hidupku berhenti di 1 titik,
Berputar-putar di sekeliling titik itu

Sebelum suatu peristiwa,
Aku pikir hidup adalah 75 % tertawa,
25 % menangis,
dan aku puas dengan 75 % tertawa.

Sebelum suatu peristiwa,
Aku puas dengan 1 titik
Dan 75 % tertawa,

Ternyata
Hidup bukanlah tentang 1 titik
Dan bukan tentang 75 % tertawa
Tetapi tentang 1 buah biji yang jatuh ke tanah
Lalu mati,
Lalu berbuah banyak.

- martha pratana

Image of myself

2006-03-02T22:05:00.000+07:00

Image of myself as portrayed through Psalm 139

(the poet's eyes) - I LET A WHITE PIGEON FLEW

2006-02-28T12:25:00.000+07:00

I let a white pigeon
which I used to hold
so close to my heart
flew today.

I could see its wings
moving, flipping,
bringing its body up,
flying to the sky.

I couldn't believe
the pain, the hurt, the scars
it left to my heart
as it left me.

I let a white pigeon :
a friendship,
which I used to hold
so close to my heart
flew
today.
Martha Ekawati Pratana
Copyright ©2006 Martha Ekawati Pratana

(A Taste of Indonesia) Bom Bali

2006-02-23T15:19:00.000+07:00

Jangan bom Baliku lagi!

Tuhan mengasihi Bali, mengapa kita tidak?

FRUSTRATED! FRUSTRATED! FRUSTRATED!

2006-02-19T01:25:00.000+07:00

If I had ever encountered with frustrations during the span of my life so far, making a blog was surely one of the worst!

I had tried to follow the direction, step by step, but it always failed half way down due to the ugly connection.

If my blog manages to have some shape nowadays, it surely must owe Khun and Hendri Bun its life!!!

I almost give up, but...not yet!

(The Poet’s Eyes) Pada Suatu Peristiwa

2006-02-17T08:07:00.000+07:00

Pada suatu peristiwa,
Aku merasa kelu di hati,
Walau kata-kata berhamburan
Dari bibirku.

Pada suatu peristiwa,
Aku menangis darah,
Walau hanya air bening
Menitik di pelupuk.

Pada suatu peristiwa,
Aku bertanya seribu mengapa,
Walau aku menyatakan
Aku memahami.

Pada suatu peristiwa,
Aku berkata kepada-Nya,
Tolong, tinggallah bersamaku,
Dan kata-Nya kepadaku, ya Aku akan tinggal bersamamu,
Aku tidak akan meninggalkanmu. Tidak pernah.

(A Bit of the World) Di Pantai

2006-02-17T07:52:00.000+07:00

Me and my treasure (taken in 1999).
I have always enjoyed l ooking at the old pictures of my family! They help me to feel God’s provision – something that keep me able to carry on the life.

The Life Corner

2006-01-17T04:35:00.000+07:00

How wide is this universe?

To many of us, this universe is unthinkable. It is too wide to be measured that it becomes immeasurable. This makes us feel like a tiny spot in a big,big unfathomable cosmic. The world becomes incontrolable to us. It is a huge giant, and we are as insignificant as we can. And how this makes us feel insecure.

Does it? Or does it not?

Whatever the answer is, compared to the vastness of the universe, we still have the need to feel significant. We, then understand, that we don't need this vastness. We just need a tiny corner where we can grasp our life, hold it hard and give it our focus. Then, once again, we regain our security, seeing that a tiny corner of our life has been able to grow into a flourishing piece of land, being given hard labors of our hands and a proper attention from us combined with a heavenly sweet blessing from the good Lord.

The life corner. This is all what we need.

Martha Pratana
January 17, 06

THE SPREAD OF THE EVILS

1990-08-18T13:07:00.000+07:00

Bad news travel fast. I agree. To my opinion, so does the evils.

Teach a kid to do well or behave properly; and it will take some times before he could chew and digest it. But let him watch the bad deeds done; and without being asked he would just do the same thing in not too long time.

So beware when someone inclines you to do evils. In a short time you might be more sophisticated than he is.

(picture taken from the internet)

LANGKANYA SAHABAT

1990-03-01T08:38:00.000+07:00

Seorang sahabat seperti daun semanggi berhelai empat –
Sulit ditemukan dan beruntung untuk dimiliki.
* dari "The Touch of Friends" - Ang Tek Khun

Gw lagi bete. Gw pikir gw punya banyak sahabat yang gw "kumpulin" semenjak zaman gw masih suka pake rok mini. Nyatanya sejalan dgn waktu mereka berguguran; mereka ga fit lg disebut sahabat sebab adatnya nyakitin terus. Mungkin gw masih jalan ama mereka, tapi hati gw dah berdarah-darah.

Gw setuju dgn ulasan seorang hamba Tuhan yang mengatakan bahwa dulu dia mudah sekali menjadikan seseorang sbg sahabat. Tapi kini sejalan dgn usia yg bertambah, dia mulai memilah-milah siapa yg patut diterima sbg sahabat. Dia mengibaratkan proses tersebut seperti minum jus jambu/jus guava. Dulu dia meminum jus jambu yg disaring dengan saringan kasar, jadi serpihan bijinya terminum. Kini dia meminum jus jambu yg disaring dgn saringan yg lubang-lubangnya lbh halus lg. Jadi resiko tersedak serpihan biji jambu menjadi lbh kecil.

Sedih.